How you can have the ‘Goddess Treatment’ aka ‘The Beyonce Treatment’ too

Beyonce gave birth to a baby girl, Blue Ivy Carter this past weekend. The world had been waiting on this arrival since she rubbed her belly on stage several months ago.
People were wondering, will she have a natural childbirth? Will she breastfeed?

Once the news came out, the nasty comments, tweets, and blog posts started. I posted this link on my FB page.
I haven’t found anything saying this did not happen. For that, I am sad that the hospital kept parents from seeing their children.

Still, why can’t women support each other instead of tearing each other down? We say such mean, hateful, and hurtful things to and about each other. It’s quite sad, really.

I’m thankful for these posts here….

This post from Sistah Midwife on Bey Bashing. My Brown Baby talks about Glory the song J wrote for his little girl. And Crunchy VT Mommy talks about all the judgey ladies. I highly suggest you read these posts, they’re pretty powerful.

Every pregnant and laboring mom is a goddess in my book. Pregnancy is beautiful, and so is giving birth!
So to truly feel like the star you are try some of these.

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Do you wear makeup? Take a makeup kit to the hospital/birth center with you. If I have another kid I am totally putting on some makeup for a few pics. It makes me feel extra pretty.

Ask if you can have candles, low lights, and soft music in your room.

Buy yourself a new gown to wear during or after the birth.

Bring your favorite jewelry.

Hire a doula if you can, can’t afford one? Maybe you have a close friend, or family member you trust to be by your side. You can also find a doula who isn’t certified yet, but has been through training at a lower cost.

Thinking about homebirth? Then you can make your home exactly the way you want!

With my first, and second births, I had candles and music, and with the last Charles had played the sound of the waves during the last stage of labor for me.

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These are just a few suggestions, but think of things that make you feel good, and see how you can incorporate them into your birthing experience.

You are beautiful, you are a Goddess, and you deserve to be treated like one! Especially during one of the most sacred times of your life.

What are your suggestions for feeling like a Goddess during birth?

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His Thoughts On Birth

This is a post my husband wrote back in July of 2010 on my other blog. These are his thoughts on birth and have not been edited in any way.
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Before I met my wife I had opinions on home birth and natural parenting.
I always thought it was for “all natural people” that lived in some foreign country in a village in India or Africa where that type thing has been going on for generations.

I have always liked the idea of a water birth. In a hospital with a Doctor and medical staff.

We had planned for a natural birth with our first child, but we were not as informed as we were with our second.
With our first child we did the whole hospital thing.
Darcel was induced and went 20 hours on the pitocin before asking for the epidural.
The baby was born, taken away and put in the nursery, but that is all we knew back then.

After the subject of homebirth was brought up for our 2nd baby, I was not a fan…at all.
She brought home books and used the web for reference.
I came around after we talked to a few Midwives, and I became more educated about home birth..
As the time came for my daughter to be born I was still a little skeptical but we had a lot of great people, like our midwife and doula that where there for support.

My 2nd Daughter was born in the hallway in our Cleveland apartment.
Not what I thought home birth would be. It was great, just have a kid wherever is comfortable and start bonding without the florescent lights, people all over the place and the baby getting probed and scooped as soon as she is born. Let the baby breathe!

After that I was on board fully and I did not want our future children born in the hospital.
When we moved to Virginia and we found out she was preggo again I could not wait to have the baby.
I could not wait to be that much more involved again.

Through the home birth experience I have a NEW respect for my wife.
The Pain she must feel going through the whole process.
No Offense to any other woman out there, but for a woman to go through birth without any thing numbing her up is AMAZING!!!

With our son We where able to do the LONG awaited waterbirth in our dining room of all places. It was Like a dream come true. It was my FIRST son and he was born how I pictured.

I think Modern tech has made childbirth more of a business  than an experience for man, woman and child as it should be.

The differences between our hospital birth and our homebirths were like night and day.
With our first child the doctor induced my wife, and the experience was very impersonal.
It seemed like she was just another baby being born during a shift.
The biggest difference for me between hospital and home, is that the births at home were natural.
Nobody telling us what to do, and when to do it, or how.

If a woman experiences homebirth just ONCE she will never want to do it any other way.

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How does your man feel about birth? Have his thoughts changed over time? Was her nervous, did he have an image of how the birth would/should go? What do you think of a His Thoughts on Birth Series? Many times we focus so much on the  woman and the man gets left out. I think it would be great to have several stories from the man’s point of view.
If you have man in your life that would like to share his thoughts on birth – email me themahoganyway{at}gmail{dot}com

Informed Birth is Empowered Birth

Welcome to the Empowered Birth Week Blog Carnival
This post is part of the Empowered Birth Week Blog Carnival hosted by Child of the Nature Isle and Betsy Dewey. For this special event the carnival participants have shared their perspective on Empowered Birth. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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After the birth of my first daughter, I knew things would be different the second time around.We were living in a different city at the time, and I knew what I did not want out of my second birthing experience.

At my 20 week appointment with the midwife in the hospital, she told me that they were going to schedule me for a cesarean at 38 weeks. The reason – macrosomia with my first and shoulder dystocia. I didn’t bother explaining to her that that was so far from what I wanted. I left feeling quite anxious, but I never returned to that office. Here we are in this new city with a toddler and one on the way. What were we going to do! I went home and searched online “switching midwives” that search term brought me to homebirth midwives.

From that point on, I decided to take control and read as much as I could. I became informed, and it felt so good.
I learned that birthing in a squatting, or hands and knees position can open your pelvis up to 30% more. I learned that there were childbirth classes other than Lamaze. I learned about birth affirmations, and I learned how strong the mind/body connection is.

Too many times we women will put our pregnancy and birth in the hands of the professionals. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t trust your care provider, but I don’t think it’s right to place them in full control. I think it would be better to look at it as a partnership. There is nothing wrong with questioning your OB or Midwife.

With my first I went along with what my friends were doing. I didn’t bother looking into other options because I didn’t think there were any.
This isn’t about home vs hospital birth. I believe women can have an empowered birth experience anywhere –  home, hospital, birth center.
We need to know what we want and don’t want. We need to learn as much as we can about pregnancy and birth.
Doing some research before becoming pregnant is a wonderful thing.I wish I had done that, and I know that more women are doing that these days.

I was on Twitter the other day talking with a friend. She asked me if I was still thinking about becoming a midwife. I told her yes – but it was a matter of when would be the right time. Her response was “before I have children”
I told her how great it was that she was looking into all of her options before pregnancy. She said after seeing all that she did working as a STNA(state tested nursing assistant) in the hospital, her experiences swayed her to go the natural route.

It’s so easy to access information these days –  you can hop online pretty much anywhere. I think the best way to be informed is to seek out all different types of women if you can, to talk about their birth experience(s).
I’m not talking scare tactic stories either, but a real mama village. Women who will support you and cheer you on throughout your pregnancy and birth.

You may be wondering what types of things you need to be informed about – Everything! Here’s a list to get you started.

Policy and Procedures for the place you’ve chosen to give birth

Childbirth classes

Doula

Your Midwife or OB’s Cesarean rate

If your planning a Homebirth – you want to know the transfer rate – also can your midwife carry drugs with her. They can’t in certain states.

Medications: pitocin, cytotec, epidural to name a few

Gestational Diabetes

Questions to ask your chosen care provider

Interventions and the snowball effect they can have on birth. Also the benefits of interventions in certain situations

Antepartum and Post-partum Depression

What kind of Postpartum care will be provided

You can read more on Informed Decision Making at Childbirth Connection.

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Women are strong, and we need to take responsibility for our own births. We research what kinds of cloth diapers were going to use for the baby, do we co-sleep or not? Where should I register? Baby names, baby furniture, the list goes on and on.

We need to take all of that energy and put it into gaining all that we can on pregnancy and birth.
I know I have felt a certain level of calm during my last two pregnancies and births. It was because I had informed myself, and I created a village. If you can, ask your Grandmother, or Great Grandmother about her births. We learn so much by simply sharing with others our joys and fears, and also by listening to others tell their stories.

It’s time to stop treating pregnancy and birth as a serious medical condition. It’s normal and natural. Birth is beautiful, and it is truly a life changing experience. The way we birth impacts us in ways we often can’t begin to imagine. The birth of your children is something you will carry with you for life.

When you do your own research and go with what works best for you, you’ll feel like a mama bear. For me it felt like I was in on something that my ancestors knew. I feel like I belong to this amazing tribe of women from all over the world.

I’ve gone on long enough…what are some other things women need to know to have an empowered birth?



The Empowered Birth Blog Carnival was lovingly hosted by Child of the Nature Isle and Betsy Dewey

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We invite you to sit, relax and take time to read the excellent and empowering posts by the other carnival participants:

Empowered Birthing – Amy at Anktangle shares a simple list of things that support an empowered birth experience.

Little Miss Green’s Home, Water Birth Story – Mrs Green at Little Green Blog shares her (home, water) birth story. Even though it happened 10 years ago, the empowering feelings are the same to this day (and yep, it STILL makes her cry!). This post is also a tribute to her husband who was there mind, body and soul throughout.

Save Birth, Change The World – Toni Harman, mum and film-maker talks about the highs and lows of creating the ONE WORLD BIRTH film project dedicated to helping more women around the world have empowered births.

12 Steps to an Empowered Natural Birth – Terri at Child of the Nature Isle wants to talk to all pregnant women and tell them YES they can have an Empowered Birth! This is her personal 12 step guide.

The Blessingway: a sacred blessing for birth – The Blessingway is a sacred ceremonial circle of women gathered with the intention of blessing and preparing a pregnant woman and her child to give birth. Betsy Dewey describes the beauty and the how-to of a modern Blessingway.

Informed Birth is Empowered Birth – Darcel at The Mahogany Way Birth Cafe tells us why it’s important to take control and be responsible for our own births. She says Informed Birth is Empowered Birth.

Empowering Birth in the Trenches – Over at Belly Tales enjoys the Midwife explores what empowered birth looks like in an urban hospital with a vulnerable population.

An Empowered First Birth – Zoie at TouchstoneZ follows the path she took to her first homebirth and finds she may not have been started out the best candidate for an empowered birth.

And this one to be published on Sept 12th :
Empowered Birth: From the Personal to the Universal – Zoie at TouchstoneZ questions the criteria for what makes an empowered birth and finds she has to let them all go.